New Year Resolutions

Goodbye 2015. Hello 2016. At the stroke of midnight tonight the bells tolled, fireworks exploded and we celebrated the passing of another year. One more year to add to the histories and by all accounts a year which some will remember with joy and some will remember with sadness. Visit any news or topical website and you'll find a 2015 review detailing some of the more prominent stories of the last twelve months.

And as we approached the end it was only natural we start to make plans for the next year - a quick glance at any social media will see it full of New Year Resolutions and plans. Plans for changes to health, wealth, relationships, time, knowledge, charity and all manner of interesting concepts and ideas are decided upon, shared, edited, deleted and shared again. Somebody wants to lose weight, someone else wants to learn a language and someone else wants to get a new job. Most resolutions that I've seen tend to be worthy goals and I hope they are achieved but for me the curiosity is how tied they are to the "momentous" passing of the year as though it's a seminal moment.

The calendar change from 2015 to 2016 is a convenient and definitive point at which to mark the beginning of an attempt for personal change but it's worth pointing out there's nothing special about the second that takes us from 23:59:59 on 31 December to 00:00:00 on 1 January. The significance that gets ascribed to the new year is brought about by our arbitrary cultural decision to mark the passing of time as we have done. Someone sometime decided that 00:00:00 would be at midnight and that 1 January would be the start of a calendar year. It could easily have been something else and in many places it is indeed something else. Many communities have their own calendars which watch time differently. The lunar calendar being a notable example used around the world. Some communities mark the passing of one day to the next based upon when the sun sets which if you think about it is a much more natural and observable way to measure the passing of time from a human point of view. The Islamic calendar year takes it starting year as the year in which the Prophet (peace be upon him) fled his home city to seek refuge in Yathrib, the Hijrah. We're actually currently mid way through the Islamic, Hebrew and Chinese calendar years.

So 1 January 2016 is the day we've chosen to work with as a society but what does that mean for our plans? Why do plans for change have to fit that template? The answer is they don't have to fit that template. If you want to make a personal change, start the change as soon as you can while your resolve is strong and your thoughts clear. Now that we're into 2016 does that mean new changes will have to wait until 2017? Of course not. Time waits for no man and changes will occur around you regardless of what time of the year it is!

Waiting to start a change until a new year begins is an unnecessary delay that can become a slippery slope of forever waiting to start. Calling a plan for change a New Year Resolution gives it a grand title that you can talk to others about but does nothing for making that change actually happen. That drive to change has to come from within yourself and it takes effort. Change for the better is rarely easy (if it was you'd have already done it) but it is always a good thing even if it can be a long, hard and thankless road that you may be terrified of walking down. But if it's a change you really want and you mean to do it then don't wait and, to quote the Nike marketing department, just do it!

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Helping the Homeless

Walking the streets of London at this time of year you can't help but wonder at the sense of cheer that is built up by the bright lights and festive mood. The nights are long and you might well go to work in the dark, come home in the dark and see very little of the sun but that's easily forgotten when all forms of media are shouting out that we should be happy, content and spending lavishly.

When you hear about the problems that people are facing elsewhere in the world from refugees escaping parts of the Middle East and parts of Africa to Donald Trump somehow being a front runner in the Republican nomination and from terror attacks in Paris to asylum seekers living in the Calais 'Jungle' it's easy to believe that as a country, we're doing pretty well over here in the UK. And I think for the most part you'd be right. For the most part.

Take a moment to look away from the distracting lights and the less rosy parts of life begin to emerge. And they emerge right here on our doorstep.

For the past few Sunday evenings I've been going along and helping out with the Children of Adam Homeless Food Project at Lincoln's Inn Field. Every week, come rain or shine, a group of volunteers meets in Holborn to give food to homeless people and every week there's 200 or so homeless people who queue up to receive. Crisis puts the total homeless numbers in London at around eight thousand in a city of eight million so there's a lot of people who hopefully find somewhere else to get food.

I've learned quite a lot from even my minimal activity with the project. When I first went along I had an image in my head of what a homeless person would look like - an image that had been built up from media I'd consumed and my own uncharitable imagination. Rough looking men wearing ill-fitting, unkempt and mismatched clothing was what I imagined. Upon seeing the crowd of homeless people queueing though, I was struck by an unsettling thought. There were no easily distinguishable features - they were generally dressed just like anybody else would be on a cold December evening. Put me on the other side of the volunteer table and I'd have blended right in! They were young and old, men and women, British and international, bearded and clean-shaven, quiet and loud.

What was common though was that they were appreciative that there are people who are trying to help. As they walk past the tables they're polite and friendly. Even when food runs out at the end of the evening or things go wrong there's no complaining. Just last week the stall opened 40 mins later than usual when the hot food delivery was delayed but I heard barely a murmur from the waiting crowd - some of who had already been waiting hours (the project runs on a first come, first served basis). One of the homeless folk had even brought along a ghettoblaster and put on some radio to help pass the time delay! And when we did start there were no words of recrimination - they took their food and went on their way.

I'm going to finish off with a plea - the project is always in need of volunteers (as are most charitable initiatives!). It runs on a zero-commitment, come-and-go-as-you-please volunteer basis so if you just turn up to help at 1745 on a Sunday evening, the team will find a use for you. It's not particularly glamorous (available roles include Sandwich Distributor, Coffee man, Tea man, Security and Bagger et al) The other volunteers are an interesting mix of people and you do get good banter from the volunteers and the homeless folks and I really do think it's worthwhile getting involved in this or perhaps other projects closer to you.

Food donations are welcome but better to visit and volunteer first to get an idea of what kind of food works best and how much is needed before bringing food donations. I've heard stories of a family who turned up unannounced with a thousand homemade tuna sandwiches - the vast majority of which went to waste given that at the time there were only a hundred homeless people who came!

Money donations are probably helpful as well.

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Air Strikes and Politics

Last week saw a flurry of activity, discussion and comment in the run up to the UK government vote on whether we should bomb ISIL in Syria. Once the vote had been announced we saw several days of intense media coverage of the goings on at Parliament and predictions which MP was going to vote which way and what that significance might be for the various party leaders. Outside of the Whitehall circus, everyday folk were talking and forming opinions on which way the vote should go.

In the end, on Wednesday 3rd December, the House of Commons overwhelmingly decided to proceed with an air strikes campaign and the UK rode to war once more.

The situation in and around Syria is ridiculously complex with numerous different groups fighting against each other while sponsored by countries who are working with each other to end the conflict (in theory). Without access to detailed intelligence and awareness of our military capability I just don't know where I stand on the question of should or shouldn't the UK be bombing ISIL. My heart tells me war is never a good thing but my head tells me sometimes war is necessary. Islamically speaking the killing of non-combatants (civilians) is forbidden in war which would make the decision seem easy but it's not quite so simple - bombing an oil field or a road or other piece infrastructure may be a reasonable target that isn't likely to cause any direct death and will degrade the enemy's capability and if you can find . I'm glad I don't have to make the decision.

What I do know though is that Parliament decided that on the back of whatever information they were given the best course for the UK was to begin air strikes. Immediately after the vote there were all kinds of reaction, ranging from celebration to outrage and from sorrow to shock.

I don't think going to war should ever be a cause of celebration and those who would celebrate should read Wilfred Owen's World War One poem Dulce Et Decorum Est (pasted at the bottom of the page in case you don't want to click).

Sorrow is an understandable response - reading the last stanza of the poem will induce sorrow in anyone (and if it doesn't then read it again carefully). The horror of war, especially in its modern form, means the decision to send men to kill and to die should not be taken lightly.

Shock and outrage I can also understand though I think in this case these reactions could be due to a misunderstanding of what the UK government is meant to do. The UK government's (or any other government's) first responsibility is to protect and promote the UK citizens' short and long term interests.
When close allies (in this case France) have been directly attacked and there is a high likelihood the UK is also going to be attacked, that first responsibility means the government has little choice but to join whatever bandwagon has been started to destroy/debilitate the attacker.
Not joining in with the anti-ISIL campaign would leave the UK wilfully damaging its relations with its allies and key trading partners. And if ISIL were then to mount a Paris style attack on the UK the fallout against whoever was in government and "had done nothing" would be the end of that government's credibility with the people and to whom would they look for solidarity when they showed none with their allies when their allies wanted it?

In simple terms - my friend is having a fight with that kid nobody likes - I should help him and join the fight so he stays my friend. It sounds very playground-ish but, except for the obviously far greater stakes when dealing with international geopolitics, I really don't think it's all that far from the truth.


Dulce Et Decorum Est (Wilfred Owen)

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of tired, outstripped Five-Nines that dropped behind.

Gas! GAS! Quick, boys! – An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling,
And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime . . .
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues, –
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie; Dulce et Decorum est
Pro patria mori.

Refugees and a crisis of compassion

This was written before the horrific Paris and Beirut terror attacks - for my thoughts on those events please read my post From Paris, With Terror.

An edited version of this post was also published on The Elenchus.

A topic of alarming regularity and long-running history, the refugee crisis has only just begun to dominate the headlines of a lot of  news outlets. This sudden tidal-wave of press activity has taken form of shocking stories of traffickers dangerously overloading rickety boats with human cargo; accompanied by disturbing images of the consequent drowned bodies. The desperate, vicious and dangerous ordeals of people attempting to make the journey from the most war-torn regions of the world to the ‘safe haven’ of Europe has been endlessly reported on. However, can we really brand this attempt to raise awareness of the refugee crisis as successful? Are we, the British public, now truly aware of the refugee situation, or are we all just a little too late to the party?

Between 2012 and 2014, the number of refugees of concern to UNCHR increased from 10million to 14million - a rising trend which has sadly continued into 2015 (note that this figure does not include the 5million Palestinian refugees who are looked after by UNRWA). A large portion of the increase is due to the vast numbers of people fleeing Syria: a figure of over 4million refugees since the conflicts in that region started. It is more often than not that, when prompted with the thought of the ‘refugee crisis’, we immediately conflate all that we know about it with the current Syrian refugees. However, what we forget in this narrow scope is that there are a huge number of refugees from other parts of the world, including a close-to-3million from Afghanistan and another million from Somalia.

The natural consequence of such a massive outflow of people from these countries is that there will be an equally massive inflow of people into other countries, in particular: neighbouring countries. From Syria, large numbers of refugees have fled to Turkey (1.6million), Lebanon (1.2million) and Jordan (0.6million) to name a few. Displaced Afghans have tended to go to Pakistan (1.5million) and Iran (1million). For some of these countries, the inflow is beyond anything they could possibly prepare for: take Lebanon for example, with its Lebanese population reaching 4.5million and its refugee population contributing a whopping extra 1.7million. Yet, despite this extreme human crowding, Lebanon has taken the refugees in: a commendable act of morality.

Little is heard in Europe of the quantitative figures of the ‘desperately displaced’. I myself had not been so knowledgeable on the topic until I attended a City Circle talk with speakers from Amnesty International, the Refugee Council and the National Zakat Foundation. All of the speakers went to considerable amounts of trouble to deliver eye-opening detail about the depth of the global refugee crisis and the European and UK governmental response.

Sadly, a lot of what was said made for quite depressing comprehension. The refugee numbers just keep on rising: 220,000 people attempted to cross the Mediterranean in 2014 – an increase from 60,000 two years earlier. The estimate for 2015 is 800,000.

To give Europe some credit, however, they acknowledged the need for the establishment of safe routes to Europe way back in 2013 after the Lampedusa shipwreck which saw 500 refugees crammed onto a 20m boat. The boat sank close to the Italian island resulting in over 300 drownings with the survivors saved by Italian search and rescue teams. Immediately after this event, the EU Commission called for increasing the level of sea patrols to make sure this level of tragedy is avoided in the future.

Italy took a leading role in the European contribution by duly increasing its level of patrols. This continued until the EU finally took over after it had decided that the influx of refugees was not just an Italian problem, but a European problem. However, this soon became controversial as the EU began to think that, although running extensive patrols made the crossing safer, it might also be encouraging more refugees to attempt the crossing. Accordingly, it cut back the extent of the patrols but, after a few months, was surprised to find that regardless of the dangers, people were still attempting to cross.

The major barrier towards a progressive solution for the refugee crisis is the problem of NIMBYism. Everyone agrees that something must be done but everyone wants someone else to take the hit. Taking in refugees comes with costs: both financial and political. The UK, for example, has been generous with sending aid to the affected countries but not so generous with taking in refugees. It pledged to take 500 Syrian refugees over 3 years until images of Aylan Kurdi – the toddler who had washed up on a beach in Turkey – went viral and struck a charitable chord with the UK public. This caused an outcry which prompted the government to raise this figure to a further 20,000, which is certainly an improvement but, given the sheer numbers of refugees, it is clear that there is still a long way to go.

Other European countries have done similar: some taking their lead from the UK. At first, Hungary was letting refugees into and through the country but has since moved to close its border and erect a 4m-high fence to keep people out. This has, somewhat perversely, resulted in improved opinion ratings for its prime minister. Nevertheless, even in this shambolic and embarrassing time for Europe, it is not all doom and gloom as a few countries have made an effort to help the refugees in their darkest hours. Germany and Sweden have been taking in around 190,000 refugees this year alone. This is expected to rise to an acceptance of close to 1million refugees in the coming year.

As with most governmental decisions, the varying responses from European countries are largely driven by politics. Issues of NIMBYism, trade, legality and finance all play their part. Some have said taking refugees in is in national interest: a statement based on our need for an influx of younger people in order to maintain society and industry amongst an ever-aging population. However, others reject this stance and simply state that our strained national finances cannot bear the additional cost of housing additional persons. Nonetheless, a restorative mode of thought belittles this by dousing partial responsibility onto the British for the maintenance of wars via the UK’s participation in the manufacturing and supplying of arms.

Moreover, some countries are prioritising help given towards Christian refugees over that of Muslim refugees in a bid to ‘keep the country Christian’ though even these are small in numbers – Poland has taken in only 50 families. And of course, there is always the old “the foreigners will take our jobs” argument which more or less acts as a final resort for want of a better reason. What this is all conclusive of, however, is that politics is a complex beast. Those in positions of responsibility have to make some difficult decisions and sadly, very few political leaders will ever prioritise showing some humanity to those in desperate need to their public opinion ratings..

 It has become all too easy to separate ourselves from the refugee crisis and brand it a regional problem rather than a global problem. To this, I simply state: when a situation in another country is desperate enough that a mother places her child into the hands of a stranger with the intention of smuggling it over the sea in a rickety boat, it becomes clear that levels of desperation have escalated to that which no human being should have to endure.

Given the sudden policy change following Aylan's photo, it is clear that politicians do listen. The UK leadership was lightening-quick to respond and ramp up what could be described as – at the time – its pitiful efforts. Power is still with the people. ‘There, but for the grace of God, go I’ is not a phrase that comes easily to political leaders but it can come easily to us as the individuals in their electorate and we should require our leaders to bend to our charitable will. ‘Change’ requires enough of the right pressure in the right places. It requires sufficient number of people writing to their MPs. It requires our involvement with organisations and actively seeking to help. In short, it requires us to do our bit. Together, we can push political mountains to their disappearance. There is so much that we can do to help: we just need to want it enough.

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From Paris, with Terror

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only"

I've quoted the above from Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities - a masterpiece of sorrow, happiness, sacrifice, oppression and the essence of humanity. It chronicles the 18th Century French Revolution with stories revolving around Paris and London but that opening passage is surreally timeless and after the events in Paris on Friday evening it's meaning is as relevant as it has ever been.

If you're living in Europe you know all about what happened in Paris. You know the fear and uncertainty that followed in the hours afterward. You know the shock and outrage that has poured forth since from all corners of the world. It was a horrible and unholy attack on civilians resulting in mass death and destruction and our hearts go out to those directly and indirectly affected.

In the aftermath I noticed a considerable amount of energy on social media directed at raising awareness of other recent atrocities, for example the bombing in Beirut which saw 43 people killed and scores more wounded. All of a sudden my Facebook newsfeed was overtaken by people saying don't forget this place or that place and sharing photos of candles replacing the 'i' in various city names all with the general theme that Parisians are not the only ones who are suffering. Saturday became a very dark day as the recent troubles of the world - seemingly caused by ISIS - were all brought out all at once and thrust into everyone's view. It was sad to see but understandable as people sought to remind the Western world that this conflict has been somewhat hidden away 'over there' and has in actuality been going on for quite some time.

However,  in some quarters this awareness activity rapidly descended into finger pointing and divisive activity as some people sought to use the understandably extensive media coverage as evidence of institutional racism and western-centricity amongst media outlets and politicians. Others questioned why Facebook turned on its' safety check feature for Paris and not anywhere else and enabled temporary profile photos of the Tricolore but not the Lebanese, Iranian, Syrian or Palestinian flags despite the fact that it was the first time it had been used for a non-natural disaster. Others sought to use the atrocity as a reason to clamp down on refugees fleeing the exact kind of violence that Paris just went through. Others sought to further their prejudices and shift blame onto Muslims regardless of the fact that the Muslims are also being attacked by ISIS.

What was unwittingly happening was the exact purpose of the Paris and other attacks - to divide and breed distrust amongst communities that were previously somewhat cohesive and united. To break down our sense of security and positive disposition towards others and turn it into a sense of fear and hostility. To cause terror.
Pointing fingers and questioning every little detail while things are still settling down and confusion, fear and anger are reigning is playing right into their hands and is the quickest way to break down trust and positive feeling amongst people and turn them against one another. Alienation and ostracism of a minority will make even the most mentally strong person feel some antipathy towards the majority but it's fundamental in the human condition that most people are fragile.

The way out of this darkness is to unite and be strong together. The people to blame are not your neighbours or the man running the corner shop or the young woman in a scarf trying to catch the bus and getting on with her daily life. The people to be angry with are not the engineers at Facebook or the refugees seeking a life free from violence. Most people are just like you and just want to get along and live their life without worry and without causing mayhem and madness. It's imperative that you realise this and live your life with compassion and mercy towards those who are with you.

I'm going to leave you with Aragorn's speech at the Black Gate (Tolkien's Lord of the Rings) where he urges unity, trust and friendship amongst the assortment of men, dwarves and elves that have gathered to fight those that would do them harm even in the face of certain defeat.

I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of men fails! But it is not this day! A day may come when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship! But it is not this day! An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand! Men of the World*!


*I've changed the last word "West" to "World"!

Islamophobia

Islamophobia. The fear of Islam. Or as Wikipedia describes it "prejudice against, hatred towards, or fear of the religion of Islam or Muslims". Sounds simple enough on the surface and quite clearly wrong but in recent years there has been an increasing level of Islamophobic activity in the UK and elsewhere. I think Muslims in the UK are actually luckier on this front than their counterparts in a number of other developed countries where religious freedoms are harder to come by. The UK has a long history of openness to new cultures and beliefs - mostly due to it's imperial past but that's a whole other story for another day.

Islamophobia comes in many forms, both hidden and blatant, and all are wrong. Whether it's the ignorant petition campaigns against halal meat or insultingly being called a terrorist by strangers when doing your grocery shopping or having your professional CV discarded because of the foreign-looking name at the top or being 'randomly' stopped at the airport for additional screening or people looking at you funny because you've got a beard/scarf and you're wearing a rucksack on the London Underground. It's all wrong and it all needs to stop. 

It's a big ask though isn't it? How on earth do you persuade the wider majority in society to arrive at a point where Islamophobia is a thing to be fiercely denounced and instantly rejected? I wrote about this previously in my post comparing modern and ancient muslims but this Friday I heard an interesting comment made by a speaker at the City Circle talk titled "Islamophobia: Embrace British Values. Erase Muslim Identity?" The point made by Dr Salman Sayyid was simply that there was once a time that racism was widely acceptable and we're now in a time where racism is widely unacceptable. You could be a racist and a person of good standing in society but over a period of many, many years and with huge amounts of effort and sacrifice the tide slowly shifted. And while racism hasn't been totally eradicated, an open racist would find it impossible to have good standing in society and this is how it should be.

The talk hosted a panel of four - two academics (Dr Chris Allen and Dr Salman Sayyid), an IHRC activist (Raza Karim) and a police officer (Asif Sadiq). The academics went first and explained some of the challenges with defining what Islamophobia is and the difficulties of measuring it as an under-reported activity. Some people confuse disagreeing with Islam as Islamophobic and this does need to be clarified. Disagreement with the religion by itself is fine - it's when it turns into incitement to discrimination and hatred that it becomes a problem. It was very intriguing and disheartening to learn that, from the recorded statistics, the majority of victims of Islamophobia are "visibly muslim" women - presumably as they are seen to be easier targets. 

Part of the prejudice is certainly fuelled by media irresponsibility - when a Muslim does something wrong that gets media attention their defining characteristic becomes their Muslim-ness even if their religion is irrelevant to the story. Every Muslim becomes a media ambassador for Islam and every action by a Muslim becomes an Islamic act even if it goes against Islamic teaching (grooming gangs in Rotherham is a prime example). Muslims are no different to any other community - we have our good apples and our bad apples with the majority falling somewhere in between. But all too often it's only the rogues that get the media coverage along with the Muslim tag and this is dangerously provocative.

The remaining speakers took a more practical approach on raising awareness of Islamophobia and how to go about pushing back against the tide.

Raza had a lot to say about the informant culture that was being insidiously propagated by the government's latest strategies to get teachers to report possible and potentially extremist views from their pupils and how Muslims and non-Muslims needed to become more active in the fight against state monitoring and social engineering. He spoke of the work that MEND are doing to encourage political participation amongst the Muslim community. He proposed disengagement from the established system to avoid giving it a veneer of legitimacy and fight from outside what he saw as an Islamophobic institution.

Asif spoke about some of the changes and education the police force had gone through as a result of the need to have a greater understanding of Islam amongst officers. Social media has a massive role to play in making people aware of what is happening and bring pressure to bear on the police to take action - citing the recent Bus Rant woman and the speed of police action to identify and arrest the culprit. He encouraged getting involved in the established system to fight, educate and change it from within to better fulfil the needs of the people both Muslim and non. 

For me, it was very curious that Raza and Asif were able to sit next to each other and have one saying get involved inside the system and the other say get involved from outside the system. I think both saw each other as possibly undermining their own efforts to bring about change and probably damaging the cause. Who's right is anyone's guess - maybe they're both right or maybe they're both wrong - only the fullness of time will tell. To be honest I don't think it matters who is right - the important take away from all this is their common message of getting involved somehow. 

It's the easiest thing in the world to do nothing and say nothing and think "it'll make no difference so what's the point?" and that it will take far too long for change to happen or have the individualist mindset of "I'm OK so it's not my business". Sitting back and doing nothing will be of no benefit to anyone and will allow those that want to sow mistrust and chaos a free rein to do as they will leading to ever more dangerous times. 

In this case we should remember the lessons from the fight against racism which has been going on in the West for over two hundred years and anti-semitism which has been going on even longer. It's not going to be quick but that doesn't mean its not worth trying to change. It takes only a few pebbles to start at avalanche so keep throwing pebbles at the mountain. There's a famous Greek proverb that fits very well here - “Society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.” Let's start planting our trees for our own future and beyond.

Life and Death

Warning - this post discusses difficult issues. Please stop reading if you feel too uncomfortable.

I'm going to make a bold claim: people rarely discuss death. It's something that every last person on this planet is destined to experience yet I think in modern society the concept of death and the transient nature of life has been pushed far, far down the list of topics people are comfortable discussing. Maybe it has always been so but while I have no idea if mortality has ever been a dinner-table conversation, it's certainly true that in times gone by death was a much more regular event and much more a part of people's everyday lives.

As an example, churches were once the centre of the community - the place where everybody visited on a regular basis. If you ever visit an old church you'll find a graveyard adjacent to it in a prime location - often having to walk past it to enter the church. Nowadays graveyards have been relocated to out of town sites - out of sight and out of mind. Medicine and agricultural advancements have also contributed to leave death at the fringes of our existence and it has become so easy to forget that life is not forever despite a complete subconscious awareness that it is. 

Today I went to a talk titled "Coping with Death, Dealing with Grief" held by The City Circle. A little bit of a sombre title but the essence of the topic was the Islamic perspective on dealing with grief. The speaker (Shaykh Yunus Dudhwala) was very credible and well qualified to discuss the issue as the Head of Chaplaincy and Bereavement Services at Barts Health NHS Trust. 

To react to death and to grieve is perfectly natural and human and no one should be ashamed of such. Grief and bereavement show the depth of the bond between the departed and those left behind and comes from a compassionate and merciful place and this should not be forgotten. Different people do react differently to the death of someone close to them - their cultural and religious background affects their reaction as does their own belief of what death is. If they believe in life after death then that leads to a different view to someone who believe death is final. 

Islamic theology and practice is heavily rooted in the actions and sayings of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and one of the early points made was that the Prophet (pbuh) experienced the loss of relatives of every relationship: father, mother, grandparents, wife, uncles, sons, daughters and friends. The example is there for every situation and always he counselled and practiced patience and forbearance. The speaker shared a number of traditions describing the Prophet's instructions and comments to people suffering through grief. He encouraged compassion that allows for the release of grief. Crying and sadness are perfectly natural reactions and should not be discouraged - to feel is to be human and we are but human. Do not be too quick to judge the level of others' grief - some are stoic, others are more emotional. To each their own way of dealing with it and the best thing you can do is to support them and be there for them. That said though, some level of self-control is required in Islam - grief is personal and does not need to be announced to the world. Wailing, smashing things, screaming - all of these are not allowed. 

At the heart of it is the concept of patience and the famous verse "Allah is with those who are patient". Demonstrating patience and exercising self control at the time when feelings are most raw and you are at your most vulnerable is the pinnacle of spiritual achievement. Incredibly hard to do  when anger, frustration, sadness and wishfulness are all assaulting your mind. 

This is where the second major point comes into play. Islam teaches that there is life after death and whenever a Muslim hears of a death he/she is encouraged to say "To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return". A short phrase that has a superbly powerful and profound meaning. It's a reminder that our lives and the lives of our friends and the lives of our family and the lives of every single person who walks the earth are only ever on temporary loan and that the loan will eventually have to be paid back. It teaches the awareness that the time is appointed for everyone and cannot be avoided. There are no premature deaths in Islam. People may die young but not early as it was ever written thus.

So with this awareness what does it mean for us? To me, the blessing in all this is that the length of the loan is unknown to us. That death can come at any time can be either a cause for lethargy or a spur for activity. It's the difference between "If I don't know if I'll get to finish an endeavour why should should I bother to start it?" and "If I don't know I'll get to finish an endeavour I had better make sure I do as much as I can!". The latter is a much more positive view and should be the default stance for everybody. Think on death and your own mortality but let it drive you to achieve, build, maintain your relationships, be productive and generally do what is worthwhile in life.

P.S. Here's an interesting folktale on the impermanent nature of life.

Empowerful

Yesterday I went along to a Palestine fundraising event called "Empowerful" (https://www.facebook.com/events/1502161260094186/) which apart from it's unusual name (Empowering+Powerful) caught my eye a week or two ago when its colourful poster appeared on my Facebook newsfeed. I'd only heard of one of the speakers/entertainers before (Myriam Cerrah) but some friends had clicked they were going to the event and it looked like it might be a good gig and since I had the Saturday afternoon mostly free I was keen to attend. And as it happened it was also a good opportunity to see how my motorbike would fare in Saturday Central London traffic!

I turned up and quickly scanning the audience couldn't spot anybody I knew and upon frantically messaging people I discovered that all of the few who I thought were attending had had to cancel for one reason or another! A bit disappointing but no calamity: when you have 200+ people in a room that's 200+ people to talk to. It turned out the guy across the aisle from me was also called Yusuf and therefore we were guaranteed to have a good time!

The host kicked things off and one by one the speaker line up did their thing. Some spoke about their own stories and some of the challenges they'd faced while others chose to share other people's stories. All were interesting and all were powerful. There were reverts, rappers, doctors, social activists, youtubers, poets and storytellers - it's rare to see such a wide variety of performers and I was suitably impressed.

The storyteller, Mary Clark, had a background in science but told a very human story revolving around depression (which seemed an odd choice to me given the empowerment focus) but it was handled delicately and turned into an inspiring story about mental health issues. 

The rapper and singer duo from Deen Squad delivered strong performances and, technical issues notwithstanding, they proved to be very entertaining. The rapper, Jae Deen, spoke about his own journey to Islam and some very personal difficulties - particularly poignant was his line about having never prayed jamaat (congregational) prayer in his family home as his parents and family were not receptive to his Islam.

The poet, Tommy Evans, had three poems lined up - the first two were in line with the inspiration and empowerment theme but he finished with a very amusing poem about his beard! (If you click the link you'll see a photo of the man and note he has a shaved head and a ginger beard!)

Harry Fear from Russia Today talked of his experiences as a news correspondent assigned to cover Gaza. It was fascinating to hear his views on the issue as someone whose job it is to be the mouthpiece of the news.

Dr Swee Ang (orthopaedics) delivered a very moving story of how she arrived in the region many, many years ago as a Christian Zionist but upon working in Lebanon with Gazan refugees and then later in Gaza itself had her views changed to the other side of the fence and has written a book about her experiences (From Beirut to Jerusalem).

During the lunch break I abandoned my new Yusuf friend and went to talk to the speakers/entertainers. They proved to be as interesting as you would expect from such colourful background and my enjoyment of the event rose several notches and I also managed to get a front row seat for my troubles which was an excellent result! I spoke with Majdi Aqil from Interpal who gave me useful advice when he found out I was learning Arabic. Dr Swee Ang shared her views with me on the current Junior Doctors'/NHS privatisation issues and when I left the auditorium for Maghrib prayer I ended up leading some of the poets in prayer and I managed to have a chat with them as well.

And eventually we wound up doing the fundraising that was the primary purpose of the event. Most of the audience were students yet together they collectively pledged to raise over £70,000! Outstanding numbers mA and it was very heartwarming to see the passion and eagerness to help those less fortunate.

Empowerment and Powerful. These themes ran through the whole afternoon's entertainments and activities and, aside from the ideas and thoughts it sparked in my own head, I'm really pleased I went along.

Trust

Today evening at long last we had our Young Muslim Leadership Programme Alumni London gathering. It had been diarised for well over a month but there was a distinct air of mystery as no one knew who was going to turn up or why we were gathering. There had been suggestion of formalising an alumni group and there had been hints of starting some sort of activism and some talk of the bigger picture and how we could work together. But at the least we would be socialising and getting to know people from outside our own YMLP cohort. After 10 years of YMLP we expected that there would be a diverse range of people.

Upon arriving early at Kings College Student Union (kindly arranged by Nadine) I found the campus prayer room and having prayed I made my way back to the meeting place and sat down with the other early arrival - Sulaiman.

We sat across sofas and made small talk and were soon joined by a couple of other YMLPers. One of the girls didn't realise I was YMLP so when I asked her name she asked why I wanted to know. It was a bit awkward but when we realised what happened it made for good banter. And slowly the numbers grew until we had at least 20 people. It was still a muslim event though so these numbers of attendees were only reached well after the stated 6:30pm start. One or two thoughtful individuals had generously and farsightedly brought along some snacks and these were shared.

After an initial "introduce yourself" round, discussion began in earnest and we tried to address some of the questions people had in their minds: what did we want to do as an alumni group? how could we build up trust? what could we do? what could we not do? did anyone have any ideas right now? how often should we meet? shouldn't we focus on one main theme? should we copy the style of other muslim networks? why was this going to be different to the failed previous attempts?

All in all, there were lots of questions and thoughts shared. Passions were high and it was good to see the enthusiasm and the excitement. Opinions were wide and varied but for me the stand-out item was the issue of how often to meet. It was unanimous that we should meet but the frequency of meetings was up for debate. Monthly, bi-monthly or quarterly?

To my mind it was obvious that the more regular the meetings the better at this initial stage. With such a large group of people there's inevitably going to be dates that not everyone can do but that doesn't matter as those who have more schedule freedom and can make it will make it and those who can't can attend the next time or the time after that. With a group as large as we are blessed with you can consider the group separate from the individuals and so the group will meet and the momentum generated from today's session will be sustained even if single individuals can't make it.

It was curious to me then that others couldn't see this and insisted on proposing a schedule that they as an individual could commit to regardless of whether others could commit to a more frequent arrangement. The only explanation I could think of was that their enthusiasm for the project was such that they wanted to be involved in every part of it. This despite that reducing the frequency of activity would be likely to result in derailing of the project as people's other priorities come into play. In essence, they couldn't see that the idea was already bigger than any one individual and by failing to recognise that they were putting the idea in jeopardy purely through their good intentions.

Which brings me back to the bigger picture and working together. Since I am the centre of my own world it becomes very natural to think that I am an essential part of the bigger picture and without my direct involvement any project will fail and therefore anything that has to be done must be done with my approval and availability. But the beauty of working as a group is that teamwork comes into play. The group can function without you and things will get done without you.

But the important detail is it will only happen if you trust each other enough to let others do things without you. Trust is the key to a strong team but trust has to be built and earned. I'm not going to trust Joe Bloggs who I've only seen on a WhatsApp group - why should I when I know nothing about him? For myself, I'd only properly trust someone I've met, spoken to and gotten to know who they are as an individual. Trust is a part of human relationships that I think is often overlooked in people's enthusiasm and rush to start projects and I think it's time to take a closer look at it. Take yourself out of the "I know and trust myself and therefore everyone else should trust me"  and instead give them a reason to trust you.

Scoping out the issues

Yesterday while doing a DIY job I noticed myself performing quite a few aspects of project management. One in particular was the issue of changing scope - where I started with a grand plan and a perfect outcome and ended up with a much smaller plan with a slightly less than ideal outcome.

After two months of riding my motorbike I decided that enough was enough and I should do something about the gate/door to our back garden. It was slightly too narrow for my motorbike to go through comfortably and could only be locked from the inside - which was hindrance to making a speedy getaway for all those times I need to! So in my head I blue-skyed the situation and planned out a complete solution involving a brand new, a new door frame and a fancy lock which would open/lock from both sides. It all seemed very simple.

But before I went and bought any new materials I decided to inspect the current situation and make sure I knew what was needed. As I looked the door up and down I began to see issues and difficulties with my big plan that I hadn't thought of during my blue-sky phase. The facts on the ground/wall meant my grand plan was going to be a big job and one that would be quite expensive in both cost, time and effort.

My response was to reconsider my plans and discuss the issues with my father to draw upon his experience and come up with an alternative fix which left the existing door in place and only touched one side of the door-frame. Much less work involved and it would widen the gap enough for my motorbike to ride through comfortably if I twisted the wing mirrors in. I considered this an acceptable compromise and so we started with the new plan and by the time the sun set the work was complete and I now have an OK ride in and out of the gate with a lock that opens from both sides. All in all a good day's work - even if it does mean having to readjust mirrors every time I take the bike out.

Thinking about it later with my project management hat on I noticed the issue of scope and how easy it is to get carried away at the start of any change project with grand ideas of perfect solutions. From the comfort of an armchair/bed it's all very well to say this is how the world should be and complain about why it isn't like that. It's only once you get your hands dirty and try and implement the grand idea that you run into issues of practicality, resource and cost. And then you might realise that actually an interim solution that fixes the big problems but leaves behind smaller issues is actually good enough for now until such time as the resources become available for a complete fix.

I've learned similar during my professional experiences - start with the ideal situation but be aware that 'the best laid plans of mice and men do often go awry' and there's no shame in adapting your plans to take into account new circumstances. In fact I'd go so far as to say a plan that doesn't allow for change is a bad plan!
And of course it's the same in all areas of life - relationships, politics, starting a social movement. Don't be afraid to not reach your initial goal on the first attempt. Adapt and do what you can to meet most of the goal instead. But far better to try and fail than not try at all.

Integrating with a Community

My reading fell a bit behind over the Eid period as my time was consumed by consuming food and spending time with the extended family. As with any family gathering the topics discussed were varied and wide-ranging but most predictably we ended up talking politics. Local, regional and international politics were all covered and many views were shared - some amusing, others confusing and some others worrying!

When I eventually did get back to my reading of Martin Lings' biography of Muhammad (pbuh) the story was dealing with that most critical time period of the Hijrah (the Migration). This was the time in which life for the Muslims in Makkah had become very uncomfortable and had begun to emigrate from Makkah to Madinah (then known as Yathrib) where the message of Islam had found a friendly ear. The Quraysh had grown so frustrated and angry that they were prepared to break with tradition and misuse their laws and regulations and plan an assassination attempt on the Prophet's (pbuh) life! The attempt failed due to miraculous events and the Prophet (pbuh) was able to safely make his way to Madinah though the journey was not without difficulty.

The groundwork for integrating the Muslims into the Madinah community had started many months previously with a companion called Musab doing missionary work in the city and spreading the message of Islam so by the time the Prophet (pbuh) arrived he had strong support from the two main tribes of Madinah - the Aws and the Khazraj. For the longest time these two tribes had been equally powerful and co-existing but not always as friends. Bloodshed was common and despite attempts at forging long lasting peace trouble always seemed to break out - often at the instigation of third parties who profited from their disunity.

The chiefs at the time recognised this and had begun to put plans into place to set up an equivalent of a king over both tribes. One man was a shoo-in for this job - Abdullah ibn Ubayy. Wealthy, powerful and influential - he had the support of both tribes and was willing to take on the responsibility of kingship. Unfortunately for him however, his expected rise to the top of society coincided with the arrival of the Prophet (pbuh) who upon entering Madinah was immediately raised to the position of leader and the top order of society was suddenly quite different to only a short time ago.

The Prophet (pbuh) took on his new role but didn't change the existing civil structures of Madinite society. The people were accustomed to a particular order - they had their tribal chiefs and clan chiefs and were content with their society. So rather than fundamentally tinkering with society the prophet SAW added to it. He took on his role as leader by taking a new position above the tribal chiefs. Power and influence still flowed exactly as before except now there was an additional level. Tribal chiefs were still important and had great influence amongst their tribes but, in modern terms, now reported to the Prophet (pbuh) rather than being a law unto themselves. Taken as a whole this mean that for the most part people could recognise the new leader and understood his role. For the everyday Madinah man little had changed and he could continue his life as before.

That's not to say everyone was happy. Unsurprisingly, Abdullah ibn Ubayy wasn't too impressed with the new situation but he hadn't gotten to his status by being a total fool. He still had access to the wealthy and powerful and decided to play it cool with Islam and not get involved. The Prophet (pbuh) had been made aware of Abdullah ibn Ubayy's particular situation and recognised that Abdullah ibn Ubayy's influence could be greatly beneficial to Islam's cause if it were channelled in the right direction. So rather than ostracise and sideline him he made special efforts to bring him on-side. Again - using the existing power structures to help society progress rather than making aggressive changes. His efforts were not immediately successful but he persisted. As time wore on and Abdullah ibn Ubayy's influence began to diminish due to his non-Muslim status he did eventually respond to the Prophet's (pbuh) overtures and convert to Islam (by word at least if not by heart).

There's lessons to be learnt from how the Prophet (pbuh) went about integrating into his new community. He didn't come in and turn everything upside down and establish an entirely new system. By working with the existing society system and simply adding to it he was able to keep most of the populace in step with his goals. His position was recognisable and his authority undeniable because he had the approval of those that the everyday man recognised as people of authority. He'd made efforts to win the agreement of the existing chiefs - which in itself was not done overnight but with time, care and planning. All in all it was a masterstroke of political leadership and one that any student of politics can learn from.

The modern and ancient Muslim

Since the last post I've read further in the book and the subject matter has changed from the histories and ancestries of the Quraysh and its various clans to the detail of Islam's nascent period. And within it there's a number of parallels to the modern day situation of Islam.

The first section of the book was important to get an understanding of the culture and society in which Islam arrived and while it's over a thousand years away and the cultural practices are different to today the weaknesses of human nature that existed then are still here with us now.

To put things into some context for those unfamiliar with the histories - the Quraysh held the role of The Establishment in Makkah. They were the guardians of culture and held great power and influence throughout ancient Arabia as a result of their custodianship of the Kaaba. The continuation of their influence was reliant on maintaining the status quo - visitors could worship whatever they liked when in Makkah so long as they let everybody else do the same. As a result - everyone felt safe and the pilgrims and merchants that visited the city continued to visit and business was booming. And this was the accepted pattern of life for a number of years before the advent of Islam.

When Islam did arrive in the form of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and his message of the Oneness of Allah the Quraysh initially looked upon the 'new' religion as an oddity that could be ignored and subsumed within the numerous other religious traditions that co-existed perfectly well in their society. And for a while there was little controversy. But eventually it became clear that Islam wasn't going to go away and in fact Islam did not allow for the idolatry that the Arabs practiced. It called for them to revert to the worship of the One God and the abandonment of their idols - a theology that they had forgotten with the passage of time despite their pride at being of the children of Ibrahim (as).

As those same pilgrims and merchants visited the city they heard the new message and the Quraysh began to worry. If the pilgrims and merchants felt their beliefs and traditions were being challenged then they'd come less often and the city's commerce would suffer. And with reduced commerce and wealth the power and influence of the Quraysh would diminish and soon some other tribe would come and depose them - much like they had deposed the Jurhum tribe many years before.
And so with their way of life under a perceived threat they nervously upped the ante and began an aggressive physical and economic campaign against the new religion. When people are fearful they become defensive and/or lash out against the threat.

A major problem they faced however was their own cultural laws and practices allowed that clan chiefs could provide inviolable protection to individuals which meant that no one was allowed to harm that individual. And Muhammad (pbuh) was under the protection of his uncle and clan chief Abu Talib. Frustratingly for them it was in the other clan chiefs' own personal interests that Abu Talib's protection was allowed since if they rejected his right to provide protection they nullified their own rights to provide protection.

However, not all the new Muslims were under protection and it was these Muslims who faced the full brunt of the Quraysh's anger and fear. The book goes into some detail about the horrible things that were done to them which I won't go into but suffice it to say they had a very rough time. It was a time without many of the legal rights, protections and impartiality we expect from our modern society and the suffering and abuses of power were very real. In short it was not a good time to be an everyday Muslim. Yet the Muslims maintained their religion and were determined to stick by it as it was a belief that had entered their hearts and no earthly power could take that away from them. They were strong enough to show the nonbelievers that theirs was a better way of life and to live by the ideals that Islam taught. And this had an effect on some of the oppressors - that they recognised by observing the Muslims in action that they weren't so bad after all and perhaps it might be a good idea to find out more about what they were up to. This is where I see the most relevant parallel to the modern context.

In general we have a much easier time of religious practice in the UK than the early Muslims did in Makkah. We have considerable freedom to live within or religion whilst complying with the local laws. We have it good. And we have the opportunity to showcase the best of Islam by our own deeds and interactions with people of other or no faith. When your neighbour or work colleague thinks of a Muslim they should think of you and not some stereotyped image of a man in a mask standing in a desert screaming at the camera. And through thinking of you they should come to the conclusion that 'Yep, these Muslims might have different beliefs to me but I know a Muslim and based on hi/her character and what I've seen of him/her I can say they're a good people.' That's the goal and it's a difficult one that requires each and every one of us to pull our weight. Are you up for the challenge?

Martin Lings' Muhammad

This post is about Martin Lings' biography of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)

I've long had a bit of a will-they wont-they relationship with Martin Ling's book. The book chronicles the life and times of Muhammad (pbuh) and was written in English by a person who had an excellent command of literary English and knew how to use words. By all accounts it's right up there as one of the best English language biographies that there is and now that I've finally started reading it I have to agree.

I first came across the book when at university in 2006 where several of my fellow students in the Islamic Society talked about it with great enthusiasm and reverence and shared a copy amongst each other. From childhood to adulthood I'd read numerous Early Islamic history books covering the sahabah and their stories, the battles and wars that were fought and the life of the Prophet (pbuh) himself so felt I had a reasonable understanding of this time period. And since I was at university there was plenty that a person could get distracted by - whether with academic study or joining the college Rowing Club and learning the finer points of life on water. And distracted I was until the winter holidays of my final year when I remembered the book and having found it in my college library I borrowed it and took it home with me to read over the winter vacation.

It stayed in my luggage through the whole holiday and eventually when I returned to university in the autumn I discovered it had actually left my luggage and was in my sister's possession! Which was a real frustration as I soon received notice of an overdue book fine from the library. Luckily for me I was able to get to her house and pick up the book and still without having opened it I gave it back to the library.

Fast forward a few years to summer 2014 and I somehow came across the book on Amazon and decided to buy it. It arrived within a couple of days and I finally had my own copy to read and no excuse to not read. Yet I still did not read it and amidst my quarter-life crisis it got buried under a whole host of other books that I bought from various charity shops and I forgot about it again. Over the next year it moved with me to my next flat and then back with me to my family home where it ended up in my brother's possession. During this time I took up reading on the train commute to work and worked my way through several books on a variety of subjects.

All until yesterday when having recently come back from YMLP with a rekindled flame in my heart for all things religious and knowledgeable I decided to finally read the book. It took me a while to track it down as it had moved around the house and at last I found it in a little used cupboard in the little used spare room.

At long last I began to read and an hour later had made it through 35 pages. And what a book it is! The book is definitely well-written and evokes more than mere fact but it's more than the words on the page. The subject matter of the book is plainly Muhammad (pbuh) but for me the book connected me to a heritage that had faded from my mind. A shared heritage that I think has faded from a lot of muslim minds. Amidst all the scandal and negative news that the world hears about muslims on a daily basis the book shows the prime example that we should be following.

The book opens with a discussion of the Prophet's (pbuh) ancestry starting with Ibrahim (AS) which on the surface is fairly academic and dry but I drank it up as it highlighted to me what I had forgotten - the history of Islam is a long, storied and glorious one and we should be proud to humbly call ourselves Muslim. Islam has been going for a very long time and while it may feel like it's under sustained attack right now - it has ever been thus and yet by the grace of Allah truth has consistently prevailed. Muslims of old lived their Islam and favourably demonstrated their value to the wider society they lived in. And that is something that we can hold on to in our modern society.

Seeking purpose or Dealing with a quarter life crisis

In the middle of 2014 I embarked upon a quarter-life crisis. My daily 3 hour round-trip commute was getting increasingly onerous and so I'd moved closer to work and found myself a one bedroom maisonette in a nice part of Welwyn Garden City. I was now only 5 minutes drive from the office which meant that even if I snoozed my alarm clock until 8.50 I could make it to work by 9am. Smashing result!

Soon though, I realised that despite regaining close to 3 hours of my day back I didn't have anything to do with it. I knew no one local and knew nothing about the town. I did have an internet connection though and made use of it watching various TV shows and streaming movies. And shortly after that I secured myself a 39in LED TV via a staff charity auction.

And so my post-work evenings turned into a consumer's dream. Sit on my wingback armchair and just stare at the TV for several hours until it was time to go to sleep. Through no effort of my own I was offered the full HD package missing only Sky Sports so I had a huge number of channels to keep me entertained.

After a couple of weeks of this though I started to feel a little empty. What was I wasting my time for? It was all very comfortable sitting in my wingback armchair but what was I gaining from watching endless repeats of Friends on Comedy Central and HIMYM on E4 and Top Gear on Dave? Was this what my life was going to be? 

I decided no. With all the gifts Allah in his infinite mercy had bestowed upon me I felt the need to be more productive and to not just consume but to create and use. I was still doing my once a week voluntary teaching at City Circle Saturday School and visiting friends and family on weekends which kept me somewhat sane but I wanted to make more productive use of my weekday evenings. I wanted to find a purpose for my life that I could aim for.

It was around this time that Ramadan came along and through it I got involved with the Welwyn Islamic Society and helped out with Tarawih arrangements (rolling up the prayer rugs). I made some friends in the community and found that there were various activities going on - for example a Sunday Islamic circle for adults and an bring-a-dish Iftar party. Made me feel like a part of the community. 

At this same time I happened to catch the Commonwealth Games and saw the Men's Gymnastics finals. I was very impressed and thought it looked doable and with a quick bit of googling found that there was an adult gymnastics class running in Welwyn Garden City itself! So I went along to that and found myself as the only guy in the gym. But there were only 3 women there anyway as it was a very low attendance class. And over the weeks I practiced on the trampoline and the uneven bars. I pranced on the balance beam and rolled around on the floor. And with time and practice the movements became more fluid and the strength increased. Another positive result. 

Shortly after Ramadan I went along to a weekend Peace Lab run by MUJU - a Muslim and Jewish interfaith theatre group. It was around the time of the regular Israeli Gaza assault and I wasn't expecting much but I had a free weekend and I figured if I didn't enjoy day 1 I'd just not go back for day 2. I wanted to give it a proper chance though so threw myself into it and thoroughly enjoyed it. Exploring questions of identity and religion, themes of war, peace and happiness with a group of people I had never met before but whose company and conversation I appreciated made for very good internal feelings. A month or so after the Peace Lab the organisers wanted to create a theatre piece from the material we'd discussed and recorded and I was more than happy to volunteer for that. It meant getting down to RichMix in Bethnal Green every Wednesday evening - which from Welwyn Garden City meant a good 2 hour round trip on the train and £20 per visit. But I went a long and considered it a worthwhile investment of my time and money. It culminated in a show in which I performed and which gave me thrills and an adrenaline rush I hadn't felt for a long time.

I also joined the local badminton club which gave me a regular activity on Sunday evenings and made friends with some of the other club members and introduced an element of competition to my life which had been missing for some time. And when I was eventually selected to play in one of the team competitions I found myself enjoying the experience even more!

In my time in Welwyn Garden City I undertook a few more activities which I may discuss in a future article. None of them seemed to be linked to each other and people would often question why I was doing so many different things. And it took me a while to come up with an honest answer. I'd usually say because I was bored but I think more than that the reason was I wanted to find a purpose and by trying new things I was hoping to find it. 

In some ways I am still searching but for now my purpose is to keep developing as a human being and as a person. Keep on adding skills and abilities and pray that some of them come together in future to help me find my purpose. It may or may not come but at the very least I have some interesting stories to tell. 

Shakespeare wrote it well in Hamlet “There’s a divinity that shapes our ends, Rough-hew them how we will,” (Hamlet to Horatio in Act 5, Scene 2). I first came across this in another fiction book as a child but never really understood it's meaning. I think I have a better understanding of it now - don't worry about the larger plan as it's in control of a better planner than you can possibly imagine. Instead just trust in Allah, enjoy the ride and make the most of it.